Founder & Executive Director at Serving Those Serving

I worked many jobs over the years including dive bars, fine dining restaurants, hotels, and more. I was a host, a server, a bartender, a manager and most definitely a dishwasher. In 2016, I decided to leave restaurant work and form a nonprofit called Serving Those Serving. Myself and my board of directors are dedicated to saving industry lives through access to short-term, solution-based counseling.

My career in the service industry began in 1994 at the Happy Chef in Northfield, MN. I worked the graveyard shift in a college town. This is where I started learning how to stick up for myself and not be mistreated by customers or fellow staff.

I spent a few memorable years at TGIFriday’s/Mall of America in Bloomington, MN. It was a corporate hell that taught me very valuable skills I have happily and gratefully used my whole career.

I had children, I raised them in restaurants. My husband and I swapped kids like a baton in a race! There were many challenging times, but my bar and restaurant shifts always came through when it was time to pay our bills.

I have had some of the best mentors anyone could ever ask for! When I worked at TGIF my girl Katie taught me the categories of alcohol and how easy it is to upsell when you have product knowledge. When studying music in college, my teacher Debbie Duncan taught me to walk through the fire. She taught me that whatever it is that makes me the most uncomfortable is exactly what I should be doing. She taught me to be brave and to push boundaries, some seriously needed skills when negotiating the tough landscape of the service industry.

I work really hard at understanding the difference between my work and my life. I love them both, and they blend a lot of the time. One thing I have been very successful at is declaring time zones where I won’t accept work calls or emails. I’ve been good about blocking out Sundays for family time!

Look for professionalism when hiring! Basic uniform standards will show immediately in the initial interview. Clothes should be sharp and without wrinkles. Facial hair should be groomed, fingernails should be short or manicured. Chipped nail polish is a dead giveaway, as are hats. (Try harder!)

Ask the following three questions when hiring: (1) If a fellow server dropped a huge tray of food, what would you do? (2) If you witnessed mistreatment towards a person in your establishment, how would you handle it? (3) How important is teamwork to you on the job?

When hiring, I look for willingness to learn and go with the flow. (No, this isn’t Cowboy Duke’s where you last worked. Respect the folks who already work here, they always know more than you do. Learn from them and be respectful of the systems in place). Also, overindulgence in phone use shows a distinct attitude of detachment and lack of investment, and is one of the first signs of an employee who doesn’t care. Positive attitudes are a must. Funny people are the best ones to have on staff, they lighten the mood for everyone.

When it comes to inspiring and motivating your team, make them know you care. Show that in your daily interactions, but also show that in the way you treat them as staff. Provide them benefits. Don’t nickel and dime them on things like food discounts. Don’t over schedule them unless it’s absolutely necessary, and when they are clearly overworked, give them a reward and say “Thank you”. When they come to you with problems, listen to them and empower them. Support them and their families, and they will be loyal to you until the end of time.

What inspires me to continue my work? My work is very different than most, I basically made up my own job and now I’m doing it. My nonprofit provides low-cost mental health and workplace wellness resources to the service industry. Based in the Twin Cities in Minnesota, we are going through an incredibly challenging time. Our workplaces are filled with fear and loss. My inspiration to continue is that I know we have saved lives, I know we have helped people and I know there is much more work to be done.

Where do I find inspiration? I’ll share the Story of the Starfish: “A man and a woman were walking along the beach and there were hundreds of starfish washed up on the shore. They were all dying because the surf had left them. The woman kept bending down and tossing starfish back into the sea. The man said to her ‘Why are you bothering to throw in the starfish? There are so many here, dying. You can’t possibly make a difference.’ And the woman picked up another starfish, tossed it into the sea with a flourish, and said ‘I think it makes a BIG difference to that one starfish’.”

I can’t live without my business partner in order to do my job. Adam Borgen has been with me since the very beginning. Without him and my amazing board of directors, I would be completely lost! I am so lucky to have such incredible support.